DELIGHT

They Might Stay


















Let's play a game.....you guess what I'm describing, k?

- Studies words on a page for 2 hours a day...looks like some form of memorization
- Claims to play the vocal chords, and can be seen practicing their use, at 1 in the morning.
- Sings in buildings where coffee is served, and sometimes in funky joints....they serve alcohol there. :)
- Records on borrowed equipment - friend's roommates' mac computers - with much vibrancy, focused energy, songs for ears to hear...not just any ears, but ears of followers.
- Prints flyers spouting off such things as "Folk Delight Since 2009."

Well, I didn't tell you the rules....or how you were supposed to answer, so I guess I'm not very good at setting up games for people to play. I promise not to go work for a game invention company....but I can promise to tell you that the above RANDOM FACTS are connected to one of my new musical projects, called They Might Stay. I keep alluding to musical ventures in past messages, but haven't said anything concrete about it lately, because I have literally been buried in a Tower house with no A/C, practicing and practicing with my friend and musical counterpart Derrick, learning lyrics, fine-tuning, scheming and dreaming where we'll play, etc. We were maniachal and worked very hard in a short time, recording a 3 song e.p. to sell at our first actual show last night at Echo Cafe, the old Java Wava, across from Fresno High. (Our other musical venturings have been at open mic nights at a few different places, as well as an impromptu show at a Tower restaurant, and house parties.)

We like to joke about our name...one really can go very many verbally creative places with it.
For instance, They May or May not Stay. They Might Come and Go, He left, she cried. Ahhh, I know those all sound terribly negative, but truly they aren't. Derrick and I have been having a blast, minus the getting no sleep at all as of late....it is just the simple hard facts, or almost facts that he is probably heading back up to the Bay Area in the fall for a job. Who knows the fate of The Stayers or The Non-Stayers... :) If he jets up to the Bay Area, we may play a weekend of shows every other month, or so, switching from Fresno to the Bay Area.

Allz I know is that right now, I'm learning a lot, I am honored that a friend would allow me to sing what they have written and created, and I love singing for people in various venues. The adventure at least continues through the end of August, as we try to play a few more places.

If it seems that all I do is talk about music on this bloggish thing I call "Delight," it is because hobby or passion wise I tend to go through phases, and sometimes long ones - where I am pursuing something that is in my heart, and tend to spend every spare moment working towards that/doing that/pursuing that...whatever the "that" is. I am so very thankful to those folks that came out to our show at Echo last night, as well as to friends and family who eagerly cheer me on, and believe in our small musical offerings.....(that hopefully will become increasingly GREAT!)

Sporadically updated is this blog I know....I flew away to East Coast a few weeks ago for a family wedding, which was wonderful, and will fly up to the Vancouver area for another family wedding, leaving this week. Apparently getting married is a popular thing to do. And apparently flying half way around North America and back a few times for weddings is the thing that I do. :) It will be a good trip up to Van., but super short! And I'm sure I'll be bringing lyrics and fresh paper and pen along with me for my trip in the skyways...

I will close with the fact that I saw Counting Crows and Augustana in concert last weekend, with a friend of mine. They were BEYOND AMAZING. It was like a traveling musical hippie folk show....sometimes with both bands up on stage singing and playing together, with tons of instruments at the same time - everything from a banjo to a harmonica, to a piano. I have NEVER enjoyed a concert more in my life. I think I was moved by their onstage creative, presence and talent, as well as generally encouraged that I too can do anything I put my mind and heart to, (with God's guidance and help), and that it really is the human's own self that prevents itself from achieving, and aspiring and reaching new heights. I don't wanna box myself in, and play small...


I wanna be a New Heights Reacher....

Now for something different (oh wait, no this is not different....it's the usual!) - a running monologue and commentary from Heather's brain. Enjoy your evening read! :

It is refreshing, (I think that's the word of the night), to like the messiness in people's lives (or at least to graciously allow for it), in their hearts, their emotions, and to embrace them/where they are at....not expecting them to be any certain way, or change any certain thing. Doing so overly reminds you of how raw you are, and how deep your mental craziness is, what you hope people overlook, and why you need grace.

We are beautiful, broken, struggling, searching, adventurous, tenacious, questioning, never give up souls on this earth.....and when we know the extent of this in our own selves, and know who it is that loves us and holds us together ....then we can much more so offer grace and understanding and love to others, exactly where they are at...

It is actually quite beautiful and liberating to purposefully see Jesus in everyone you come across. It's not like I possess some magical ability to do this, because I don't. I am a human, and have thought and feelings, and they aren't always nice ones either....But the Holy Spirit can enable you to see people how He sees them....and when you can tap into that....or when I've been able to tap into that....there is something soo rich there. It's rich because that's how Christ sees me. Not for what I can do, and accomplish and how I'm going to save the world (oop, can't do that anyway), or how I'm going to revolutionize the whole wide world. Do you ever get to that place where you are running in 10 directions, doing many good things, completely unable to stay on top of it all, feeling discouraging, getting overwhelmed, and then seriously ready to throw in the towel and stay in bed for like 4 and a half days? I think I love those days. After the pinnacle of the emotion and the discouragement, comes some ridiculous wave of peace...of stillness. Like I don' t have to move or do anything or say anything. Like none of my worth or who I am is going to be measured by all the things my maniacal self can do. I sit, still...quiet....and then I hope. I hope in something far bigger or greater than me....something, someone, God, that I promise you more often that not, I don't understand. And then even in the not understanding, God shows me that He is bigger than my finite mind. Sometimes it takes me to this point of craziness, to get me still, so He can whisper something...I must make God's lungs sore sometimes....and He is finally refusing to shout.

Heather, do life with me. You're doing good things, but what you do is not equated with who you are in me. Know that first. Know me first. Find me first. Be found in me first. And I sit there like I've been banging my flipping head against the wall, and I put the brick down, and I finally say, "Yes, Lord, I am getting it now..." And let that not be a negative image or a depressing visual. Gosh, to me it's one of hope. Hope that at any point, in any situation, that God is God and I am not....that I can aspire and dream, and pursue things, and put my heart out there, and love and do whatever the heck I am trying to do/wanting to do....and He will and can bless and use this and that and me...but that through Him, by me seeking Him first, putting Him first, realizing the whole reason I have life, first, that then things can begin to blossom and spring up in better ways than I could ever realize...in prettier colors, in nicer shapes. It's not always easy, and neat....cause it's not. Life can be messy and challenging, and sometimes there are not always the pretty colors and shapes, and the like....but then I keep remembering the times God did surprise me and showed me in His time something greater, and neater than my understanding would allow for.

I think a good word in sum is "perspective" or "focus." Lord I don't fully know what it means to "give you my heart," or "seek you first." I screw things up but I want to want you at least. I choose to rest in you....and from there I can go forth......

And after all that heavy stuff...whatever I just said above......After saying that God is teaching me perspective, and what needs to come first in my life...lighter stuff!

I've had the biggest blast ever, playing music with a friend lately. He's in town just for the summer, but I've been learning his music, and we've been cranking it out. We've been playing "name that folk group," and are narrowing down what we want to be known as. :) Making music, singing, owning that folksy/hippie/earthy vibe.....making each song some creative art piece...it's good stuff. I feel as if I've just gone on a min-tour of the Tower in Fresno. Well...not really cause we only played at a few places, but it was a lot in just a few days, back to back. A little gig here, 2 open mic nights at places, a house party, and then this Sunday a low-key fundraiser event. And THEN we'll be doing a show soon, at the end of July..just us - a full acoustic gig at a coffeeshop. A little event, not necessarily taking Tower by storm...ha! But it will be delightful. God is granting me one of the desires of my heart, and that is to sing and make music and collaborate. Love it!

Oh yea, and I get to fly back East to Maryland (and Viriginia) for a cousin's wedding, and get to see my mom - haven't seen her in almost a year. It will be a short whirlwind few days, but I know it's going to be a wonderful time..I cannot wait until the clock strikes 5:16 at work next Wednesday. Airport bound. Peace out Fresno. (Hah! For a few days that is...) If I don't fall asleep within 34 seconds of "the emergency exits are here, here, and here," I hope for a few hours of thinking, being still, dreaming, and then finally resting the brain. :) Time away from reality/current life, always helps with perspective. God help us all with that word. As we run around like ants with great causes, help us to see who created the ground we march on...help us to let you into our lives more and more....

Now for something completely random, all too much fun, and fairly inapplicable, at least for right now...YES, I did discover some late night DELIGHT at www.ratemyband.co.uk and through http://www.coolehmag.com/frontEnd/filler.php?i=45&s=80

What people come up with and post on the internet always amazes me...although I'm sure I shouldn't be amazed. There are countless budding and not-so-budding emo, punk, screamo, alternative, and folk bands that are desperate to be named, and calling out for a creative moniker embrace. And in case you are one of these said artists, you're having a mid-life crisis and have started a rock-n-roll band in your garage, or you simply and silently dream of your alternative life in Some Cool Band - look no further. Yep. That's right. Hop on over to the above named, fun-abounding, name spitter-outters, and come up with your very own NEW BAND NAME! And then tell me what you will call yourself - I am intrigued.

Okay, so I have alluded to, and quite openly said I want to go and sing around town, open up for a little band at a bar or coffee shop, etc. We'll leave it at that for now...Currently I write a lyric here and two there, or go around my house belting out tunes I make up. There's creativity bubbling up, with a voice for sure.... but not sure of the outlet, working on the ability, and truly needing collaborators. Maybe I'm just not sold on the whole "solo," thing, or maybe I'm chicken. :) Both are okay motivators to find collaborators, and to postpone while still dreaming...

Anyway........Without Further Ado!!!! :
These are a few of what these crazy sites gave me for folkish type band name ideas:

Hollow on the Lake
Pines Georgia
Georgia Horn
Rye North
The Getting Kansas
The Old Voltage
Juliana Bend
Uncut Juliana (wow, can I just say that I really like the idea of "Juliana" in a band name, true true.)
And then this one randomly came to me - not sure I'm sold on it, but it's country fun: Tennessee Probability

Go on over to the sites, and click away to be named, and be on your way to Fame, or at least on your way to sounding like you're cool. ;)

Said promised update about my recent quick escape to work in the Mexican orphange down south, is to come....pending the uploading of photos, and the gathering of thoughts. While you wait, your homework assignment is to come up with your band name. ENJOY -

I crack myself up...I swear I should just fire myself from my day job and stay home and write super avant-garde, profound, yet heart-warming greeting cards...and then become widely aclaimed because of my lyrical delights. I can see CLARISSE GREETINGS (Clarisse being my middle name) SWEEPING the nation now....Okay, or completely NOT at all. If you get tired of your day job, phone me, text me, find me, and profess your readiness for said business venture. I have the card stock, and the brainy goodness already on hand. Anyway...;)

So this business of the Papalote - do we have any bilingual folks scanning this written piece? If not, let me tell you that the word that sounds so cool to say means, "Kite" in Spanish. Pretty simple, however, delightful in the way it sounds. Say it a couple of times and see what I mean. For work, a few of us from my organization truck out to Firebaugh (for those of you not local, it's about an hour away, out in the middle of nowhere), to put on this weekly parenting class. A few of the moms in the class either do not speak English, so what's said gets translated, or they are bilingual. Hence the spanish words dancing in my head. The kite flying freely is a perfect analogy for how I see these moms. They have so many difficult life challenges, are constantly weathering adversities, and yet somehow are finding small (and sometimes HUGE) victories in better relating with their children, and loving themselves more in the process.

I feel like a big 'ol Papalote today. Okay, maybe not big and old. Perhaps a kind-of stylish, sparkly purple number with flashes of red....but I am flying freely. Kind of plodding through a lot of the mundane of life with work and other stuff (I know...that previous sentence wins the award for clarity and conciseness, right?) Touching my passions here and there, loving on families and kids each day (ha, or most days) at work, etc. I have a lot of peace in my heart and life. I know that God is sovereign, however much I still work at transferring that from head knowledge to heart knowledge...etc. I sometimes just think, "what else God," or "what's next God?" There is a fire that is growing inside of me. A little voice that gives a giddy whisper...when I drive back downtown and take in the murals, and remember my "inner-city" internship at the Pink House 3 years back. It's the excitement I get when I connect with other young 20 somethings that are fired up to love the homeless, and look for practical ways to make a difference in the city. It is like my heart is beginning to listen more. The ears of my heart might be working just slightly better...(at least I'm hoping).

I am probably not going to run off to work in an African Village tomorrow (although I would love to go to Kenya someday, for at least a few weeks, meet my sponsor child, love on kids there, etc.) Right now I value increasing stability as I finish setting up Fresno as home. And it's not necessarily a restlessness of hugely needed change. It's more of an alert excited energy, anticipating what God could want to teach me, and about possible new (even if simple) ways that God could use me in this city. Fresno truly has become dear to me.

After work today I ran around town (or motored around town) just for a little while, and took a bunch of pictures. I seemingly do that A LOT....sometimes I feel more victorious in my abilitiy to capture what I am thinking and feeling inside, through a picture, than other times.

There is no grand finale to this post...but a little photographic peak of my run around today (and in months past.)

Enjoy :)

The Weekend Components in all Their Glory:

This past weekend was pretty neat-o (I'm pretty sure that SOMEONE should bring that word back into style...I'm fighting an uphill battle, and I need some reinforcements).

1.) Helped a friend move (a good thing to do - plus who doesn't want to hang out on and move '80's velvet plush sofas at 8:30 on a Saturday morning?!

2.)Perused Tower block sales - didn't acquire any crap or fabulous finds, (though scored some legit roadside tacos), but did wish that the blocksale neighbor's yellow VW Bus was for sale!

3.) Dinner with Friends at a random, nondescript downtown Hangout (Joe's Steakhouse) - there was gayity and fun, B-rate appetizers, and long conversations about peoples' supposed witty "twits" and "twots" - I am duly reminded as to why I am not on Twitter (let me not offend you Twitter fiends). :)

4.) Late Night Musical Debut - well, it was at a friend's house party, but the set-up was down right fabulous - speakers, mic, atmosphere, people, etc....lent some harmonies to a friend's piece..and now I've got half a suitcase packed and am thinking of running off to Nashville...or at least to vulnerably put myself out there at a coffee shop/bar open mic night locally... ;) Stay tuned for details...maybe.

5.) Lots of creative thinking time -
All this hullabaloo made for a full and life-giving weekend...however in the midst of all the external, there was an equal amount of internal ( I affectionately call it "Brain Overuse") - a little too much overprocessing and overthinking, which ultimately leads to some dawning revelations... :)
This is what I know and what I though of in my "brain overuse" time this weekend: Change, endings, beginnings, and newness are inevitably a part of life...and it's all in what you do with them- choosing to be consciously alive (even when things are difficult or less than ideal), embracing life, risking, creating, dreaming up possibilities, OR listlessly allowing life to just happen, being "okay" with the norm, and not using tough stuff to propel you in the direction of greater things - those are the two choices. It's the intricate dance of growth and forward motion coupled with patience with oneself, and the ability to quietly listen to one's heart and get clear on one's vision, that is the key. Maybe those just written sentences are vague generalitlies, or maybe they hit home for you as well?

It was somewhere in between my moment of brief microphone-hood, block sale fun, and good conversations with friends, that I felt like I was ready. Ready to be consciously alive...ready to ask what makes my heart sing, and then risk and create it. I have a plethora of "big dreams" and ideals...but starting with little things for now: I want to sing and make music and share that with people, I want to take a photography class and give a skills set to my innate eye for beauty.....what would life be like if we as humans didn't play so small?



-

ZOUK? Does anyone know what type or genre of music that is?

No googling, or peaking....(and if you know, that may either be really cool, or a bit odd). The freedictionary.com says that Zouk is ,"A popular dance music of the French West Indies, combining African drumming styles with influences from American and Caribbean popular music." Mix that in (somehow) with some psychedelic glam, and that is supposedly the musical definition of a UK based band, FENECH-SOLER. (True confession...I stumbled upon them on Myspace...but I promise that myspace is not a mainstay in my life, FB for life.) ;)www.myspace.com/fenechsoler

I had a jumbled bunch of thoughts and feelings about their music when I first heard it. I wasn't sure if I had just signed up to be a part of a B-rate '80's Euro-pop music video....maybe I would be the featured dancer, and put my few good moves to use. I wanted to like it because it was different but ultimately it took me a little while of listening to it, before I could actually embrace it. Go to their site and sample the tunes....it will, at least, be an experience. OH, and while listening...ask yourself if it really feels "Zouk" to you...I wasn't picking up so much on the French West Indies/African drumming vibe...but then again, that may just be me.

Anyway, it's a delightful new play option for your drive time, study break, dance party, or ..... (you fill in the creative blank). I dunno, maybe you could iron to it...?